Shadow Work®

What Is a Shadow?

"If you spot it, you got it."

The term "shadow" was first used by Carl G. Jung to describe the repressed or denied part of the Self. Robert Bly popularized this idea in A Little Book on the Human Shadow. Bly says that we were each born into a "360-degree personality." As infants we expressed the full breadth of our human nature, without editing or censoring.

As we grew up, however, we learned that certain slices of our 360-degree pie were unacceptable to the people around us. Maybe we were shamed for crying or punished for being angry. Maybe we were ridiculed for wanting attention or acting proud of ourselves. So, we learned to repress those slices of our pie; the ones that got us hurt. According to Bly, it was as if we threw these unacceptable qualities over our shoulder into a bag, which we've been dragging around behind us ever since.

In Shadow Work, we define "shadows" as all the parts of ourselves we have stuffed into the bag. These may be "positive" parts or "negative" parts. Our shadows are all those parts we have split off, repressed or denied � the parts of ourselves we are afraid to show.

We believe it is proper and useful to have a shadow bag, and to keep some shadows in the bag. But when the weight of the bag slows us down and prevents us from being who we really want to be, it is time to open it up. It is time to find a safe place to look into the bag, examine its contents, and see what needs to come back out.

How Do I Recognize My Shadows?

You can identify your shadows by looking at what you project onto others. When you deny a trait in yourself, you tend to be very aware of that trait in other people. In the twelve-step tradition, they say, "If you spot it, you got it." This means that you are most aware of those traits in others which reflect your own shadows. You may react irrationally to one of these traits in someone else, becoming unduly annoyed and blowing things all out of proportion.

You can also notice the traits which you admire the most in others. Who do you look up to? Who are your idols? We often project our golden shadows onto others, and get stars in our eyes, because these people represent the qualities we have disavowed in ourselves out of a false sense of modesty. You could say that we paint other people with our shadows, for better and for worse.

Another way to spot your shadows is to look for things you find yourself doing by accident. No matter how hard you try to keep your bag sealed, your shadows may leak out in a way that seems beyond your control. For example, you may promise yourself that you're going to spend more time with your family, when you actually spend more time at work. You may find yourself jumping into a questionable relationship, when you know that this person isn't right for you. You may ignore your own rules about eating, smoking or drinking. When you repeat a pattern of behavior involuntarily, it is a sign that your shadow is running the show.

From Cliff Barry and Mary Ellen Whalen (n�e Blandford) www.shadowwork.com